I’ve learned my flaws. I’ve gotten to know intimately that dark girl I can become.
And all that does is push be to be the complete opposite.
I want to become selfless, and be able to give everything to someone without expecting the slightest thing in return.
I want to become slow-tempered, and not become angry over the smallest thing or situation.
I want to become independent, and not have to rely on someone else to make me happy.
I want to become self-assured, and not have to rely on other people’s advice and approval.
I want to become giving, and keep giving without running dry.
I want to become self-confident, and love the person I’ve grown to become.
I want to become strong enough to not be hurt by people in my life.
I want to regain my trust, and understand not all people will hurt me like I have been.
I want to become so confident in God, I never doubt him.
I want to strive to become more like the person I used to be six months ago; so driven by God’s word and love. I was never scared of being vulnerable, I was never scared of pouring my heart out and I was never scared of standing up for my faith.
Before loving someone again, I want to be able to truly love the person I am. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being the best person I can possibly be. To do this, I need to become the person God wants me to be. I need to be full of love, and hope and happiness.
That’s why, before I make any commitment to another boy, I need to commit to myself to become that better person.
No matter how long it takes.