Broken strings & Pretty things

The world, seen through a young girl's eyes.

Archive for the month “March, 2012”

40 things I’ve learned from life.

  1.  It’s the simplest things in life bring the most joy,
  2. A smile can brighten someone’s day dramatically,
  3. There is also something new to learn,
  4. The extra effort of putting something away properly is worth it in the end,
  5. Random acts of kindness make colossal differences,
  6. Friends are the most important people to treasure,
  7. The weather can make drastic changes to a person’s mood,
  8. People will talk when they want to,
  9. Everything is worth it in the end,
  10. Never make plans too far in the future, as you never know what’s round the corner,
  11. True happiness comes from within, not from others,
  12. Goodbye is always the hardest thing to say,
  13. Becoming dependent on one person is a very dangerous position to be in,
  14. Never be afraid to step all the way out, or you’ll regret it,
  15. Learn from mistakes instead of dwelling on them, or you’ll never forgive yourself,
  16. Time never goes quickly if you’re watching it,
  17. A phone call from a friend can put everything into perspective,
  18. Thinking positively makes life much brighter,
  19. Love can be the most wonderful feeling as well as the cause of the worst pain,
  20. A day without smiling is a day wasted,
  21. The people you think you know best can turn out to be complete strangers,
  22. Music can be the greatest healer,
  23. Grudges are only negative to yourself; they are unhealthy and tiring to continue,
  24. There’s nothing wrong with good grades,
  25. Rain is underrated,
  26. You only lose when you give up,
  27. Family can be annoying and hard to deal with, but they are the only people who will always be there for you,
  28. Never put your life on hold for someone else,
  29. Nothing should stop you from living out your dreams,
  30. Getting lost in yourself is not a bad thing,
  31. Never keep anything bottled up,
  32. Cold pizza for breakfast is unfathomably delicious,
  33. The best days spent can be achieved by doing nothing,
  34. Dancing like nobody is watching is exhilarating,
  35. After everything, the world is still a beautiful place,
  36. Never say never,
  37. It is always important to keep an open mind,
  38. Expect the unexpected,
  39. Doing something for someone else is much more rewarding,
  40. If you can’t follow your own morals, what can you actually stand for?
 

Moving on can be one of the hardest things to cope with.

I can make it sound easy, and seem like I don’t care and I feel so strong, but deep down I’m still hurting.
I think I’ve moved on, but then as I just I’m about to forget about you, I’m dragged right back into the water.

I’ve been feeling so much better as each day passes, I’m now able to face you and the pain you feel necessary to send my way.
Until today, when I woke up from a dream. A terribly wonderful and damaging dream.
I dreamt that everything was okay, and that you were sorry for everything. I dreamt that you still loved me and wanted to work at it again, and that said that you had made the biggest mistake of your life. We were back together again, perfectly entwined and everything was so happy, so perfect. So right.
But then I woke up.
Once again, I rolled out of bed and realised nothing had changed. I was still alone and you still didn’t love me.

But then I remembered: you’re not that person anymore.
You’re arrogant, hateful, spiteful, rude and mean. Everything you once told me is a lie and you’ve changed so much, no one can even recognise you anymore.
I am moving on, because I know that I don’t love you anymore.
But, I am still deeply in love with your memory.  I’m in love with who you were, what you used to be, and everything we went through together.
I miss that part of you so deeply, and I know I’ll never get him back. He’s gone.
I think I’ll always love that side of you, though time will slowly blur just how deeply.
I really do miss you. But I know that, for some reason, you had to leave.
I just wish you didn’t have to leave when you did.

Something important I feel you should know.

My lovely readers, there’s something on my heart I yearn for you to know and believe.

I want you to know you are truly amazing. You don’t need to change for anyone or anything.
You are beautiful, amazing, magical and perfect.
You are wonderful in every single way even though you’ll never admit it.
You were born into this world as a new and unique creation,different from anybody else, and were given your own personal life to live to the full.
Though you will experience the ups and downs and the world, remember you aren’t alone.
You will never be alone, because you are loved to extremities by so many people, and you will never truly comprehend just how great this love is.
You are adored.
You don’t deserve the hurt, and you don’t deserve the pain you face, but I promise you it will stop soon.

Please remember: you were not a mistake.

Never ever forget how truly lovely you are. You are so special, so amazing, so beautiful and so utterly enchanting.
Never ever feel like you are less than perfect.

I don’t want to live a fishbowl life.

I don’t want to live in a world where I watch everything go by.

I want to be able to enjoy the excitement of life, and live it to the extremes it offers.
I want to be able to push the boundaries, and live a life different to what I’m expected of.
I want to make an impact; a difference.

I want to experience the world with all senses. I want to see it, I want to feel it, I want to taste it.
I want to be able help those who need help, and comfort those who need to be comforted.
I don’t want my life to be a waste.

Most of all, I don’t want to live a fishbowl life.
I don’t want a life where I sit comfortably and take in the facade society creates around us.
I don’t want to forget the bigger picture, and become content with material objects and the world’s desires.

I want the adventure of living rather than the comfort of life.
I want to step out.
When I’m old, and frail, and can’t quite remember my grandchildren’s names, I want to have no regrets. I want to know I made something out of my humble life.
And know I didn’t live my life inside a fishbowl.

Everything can change within a week.

It’s crazy to think how my life has flipped in just the space of seven days.

This time last week, I was a crying mess.
My life had crumbled before my eyes and I couldn’t see anything positive around me. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep.
Everything I had once believed in had turned out to be a lie. Everything I had once loved was actually an imposter.
I was ashamed, humiliated and found it hard to stay strong.

Now I couldn’t be any happier.
I feel so free, so happy and safe. My heart is filled with so many passions, desires and dreams that I can’t wait to experience. Nothing can hold me back now.
I feel so strong. I now know who I am, and I don’t have to be dependent on anyone to make me happy, because I know that true happiness comes from within.
Furthermore, I feel happy with myself. In fact, I’m starting to love myself. For the first time since I can last remember. I have the confidence to hold my head up high and know I don’t deserve the abuse, and that I am able to stand up to you in every single way.
Thank you for letting me go. Thank you for letting me become me again.

By losing you, I have gained everything.

Ignore their words, they mean nothing.

If you find yourself a victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurity, remember things could be worse.
You could be that person.

-Anon

One hundred views.

My total view count since this blog was first created under a month ago has now passed the milestone of one hundred views.
To anyone else this number may seem miniscule, but to me, I’m so immensely grateful to all of you who have taken the time to read and comment on my blog.
Words do not describe how happy I am to have the support and appreciation for the things I have written, and so I have the up most thanks to you, my beautiful and charming readers.
Thank you for finding something special in my thoughts and rambles.

It means more to me than you’ll ever know.

Today marks a new chapter of my life.

(In the most literal sense of the phrase)

Today, I’m moving on from these past six months.
I’m moving into a new, exciting place, filled with new challenges and opportunities I never had before.
I’m moving into the light with the friends that I’m so happy to be back and safe with.
I’m moving away to become the happy person I used to know.

I’m going to move away from the pain you’ve inflicted on me. I’m moving away from the hurt you’re still trying to give to me just to build yourself up higher.
I’m leaving behind all these lies and jokes and tears and I’m moving away from you.
I’m moving to greater places, where you can’t catch me and hurt me again.

Today marks the day where I leave my old self and my old life with you behind. I’m ready to become me again, love myself again and be free.
It’s a new chapter in my life. That was before, and this is after.

And I couldn’t be any happier.

This one’s dedicated to my beautiful mother.

Mum, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me.

Thank you for bringing me into the world, and cherishing me as your little girl. Thank you for all those times you’d sit with me, play with my toys and read with me. You’re the one that has made me the inquisitive person I am, who is so fond of reading and writing. Thank you for all those little days when I was young, when you took me to the park, or took me on days for just you and I, and we’d just laugh the day away.

Thank you for then giving me all these opportunities others wouldn’t be able to receive as I grew up. Thank you for never turning down a chance for me to shine and become the opportunist I am today by encouraging me to reach out and seize the world in both hands. Thank you for turning up to all the plays, violin rehearsals, competitions and events I joined just to give me support and watch me grow.

Thank you for giving up your job of comfort and force yourself to work away from your own family when I was 13, just to provide me with the education you felt I deserved. You will never understand how grateful I am for this, and I promise that, one day, I will pay you back every penny. You’ve given me a passion for work, and make me want to become something great. You’ve helped give me that kick-start in life that you didn’t need to give.

Thank you for everything you’re going to do for me in the future.

I’m sorry we have our fights, and our disagreements and that I’m going through a stage in life in which I have to be annoyed at you over the simplest matter, but I want you to know, I don’t mean it.
I love you mum, I really do.
You’ve given me this shining world of mine and have made me who I am today.
I promise to make you proud one day, and make you just as happy as you’ve made me.

Happy Mother’s Day, you’re amazing.

I wish there was a bigger word than ‘thank you’.

Recently, I’ve been hit with one of the most hurtful moments in my life that I’ve had to deal with.
I’ve been a wreck, and have fallen on my friends who have used the grace in their hearts to help support me and mend the broken pieces.

  • I’m sorry for being such a bad friend in these past 6 months, and not being the happy and reliable person you used to know,
  • I’m sorry for not always being there when I should have,
  • I’m sorry that I’m only just coming back to you now,
  •   I’m sorry for the broken person you have to deal with now.
  • Thank you for being so kind, understanding and graceful towards me when you could have turned away,
  • Thank you for not caring about those little things, and just being happy to have me back,
  • Thank you for the infinite love and support you’re all giving me right now, when in fact, I don’t deserve it,
  • Thank you for going out of your ways to just help put that smile on my face,
  • Thank you for not letting me get succumbed by the hurtful words and things out there,
  • Thank you for holding me close,
  • Thank you for not giving up on me.

I wish there was a bigger word to truly explain the gratitude in my heart for the most amazing people in my life. Thank you for helping me realise that you all were always there for me and for loving me. Thank you for being more than I deserve.

I could never be thankful enough.

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