I looked up to the sky and praised Him, because I finally made it here.
After years of constant star gazing, and months of unshakable hope, and weeks of constant calender watching, I was here: I was finally home.
No longer would I sit in a cold room drenched in loneliness, and no longer would I crave the warmth of an poisoned friendship. No longer would doubt and insecurity coarse my veins, wrenching my heart into a static sickness. No longer would numbness become reality and no longer would tears be the water to wash in.
So the clock finally demanded that my time had come, and I moved far away. I left the years of disappointment and confusion and the streets of dead-ends and lost dreams. As tyres hurtled me to bright lights and high hopes, I stripped myself of those half hearted goodbyes which cracked my heart into such fragile pieces. The road was long, and the journey was as difficult as the prelude, but it eventually led me here.
It led me here, to you. All of you. It led me to sunshine soaked afternoons lying in peace, and embraces filled with honesty. No longer did my name feel unsafe on another’s tongue, and no longer did I lay my head in depths of fear. I was, well and truly, home after years of fighting for it.
And though being home meant saying goodbye, and although my love is found on the other side of the country, I still have hope. I have the hope which made me survive the deepest depths of insecurity; the nights where hopelessness and the gripping sense of depression wouldn’t leave my bones. Because if I could muster myself through that, the distance between us are is a mere breeze in these sails.
So I stand here in this room, filled with faces carved with happiness. And though most of you don’t know it, I thank you all every single day. I thank you for never letting me let another tear fall on my pillow, and I thank you that a crowded room is no longer something so deeply lonely.
Thank you for making this long awaited destination somewhere I never wish to leave.