From here on, it’s all about decisions.

Throughout all of our busy and hectic lives, we are filled with endless cycles of decisions. From deciding when to finally start that 2000 word essay to the whether the milk is off, we face an unscrupulous amount of time making choices in which we could probably be doing much more productive tasks. Like watching TV.
(Oh but then we need to decide what to watch)

However, in these past few weeks I have been struggling with life altering choices. To anyone else, picking A level options would not seem so difficult. In fact, picking A level choices wouldn’t be so scary to anybody if it wasn’t for the constant enslaught of horror stories of how picking English Language instead of English Literature will cause you to amount to nothing in life.

Alas, I have also realised that picking A levels is only the tip of the iceberg. From here on, it’s all about decisions. University courses, careers, marriage, children. The world is full of these life changing decisions that we must all find our way through. But is this such a bad thing?

I’ve come to the decision that it actually isn’t. Yes, it is scary having the weight of the world resting on your shoulders, and yes, we may get the decision wrong. But we can always fix it. Making difficult choices is a necessity of life as we bring it more variety. Choice induces change, and change induces excitement. Without decisions, life will be too easy, and we as people today will not get total fulfillment if we are not able to start a new path to travel down.

So as I bring this post to a close, I now know not to worry. If the mistake I make is too bad, I can fix it. I have enough faith in myself to know that I am competent enough to make my own choices from what socks to wear to what I should call my child. It’s time for me to become independent and mature enough to make my decisions concerning my own life.

I’ll take the risk: English Language it is.

I promise to (try to):

• Stop being so selfish
• Stop getting jealous
• Trust you no matter what
• Control my temper when I get upset
• Stop worrying about what’s happening
• Become selfless
• Stop being so clingy
• Be mature
• Stop expecting so much from you
• Understand you need your sleep, and sometimes we can’t always see each other, text or call all the time
• Understand that we’re both human and that though we make mistakes, we learn from them, forgive and forget.

I promise that I’ll try the up most to become the best girlfriend you’ve ever had. I promise to love you unconditionally and never tire from seeing your gorgeous face and smile. I promise I’ll never take you for granted and always appreciate those little things you do for me. I promise to make every day for you special, and to take away any pain or fear you may face.

I’ll give everything up, as long as we can be happy together and forever.

Why?

Because I love you more than you’ll ever know.

I promise.

I need to stop worrying.

Worrying is probably my worst flaw. No matter how happy I am, I always find some way to ruin it by worrying or doubting myself. I become so fixated on this small part of my life, I forget the whole picture. I forget the beautiful little things that used to make me smile, or my whole life becomes distorted by elaborate stories of ‘what ifs’ and ‘buts’, causing me to believe this facade my own mind created.

When, in fact, everything is okay. Everything is just dandy. I’m just over thinking things and just ruining life for both myself and for those who I love and inflict this stress on. I need to breathe. I need to realise that worrying will not benefit me in any way; it will only render me to a crying mess under the crippling doubts and fears of my deep insecurities.

Everything is fine. Everything has been, and will be. Stop trying to destroy yourself, and the world will stop trying to destroy you.

Breathe.

Hello world!

Here I am, little me, finally starting the blog I’ve dreamed about starting since summer last year.

I had always been too afraid to start a blog, thinking ‘no one will read this’ or ‘I have nothing to write about’ or lastly ‘I’ll just seem stupid’ but now I’ve realised: who cares? This blog is not about readers, or a definite theme, but to allow me to convey my deepest thoughts and passions into text. This blog is not created for others in mind, but for my joy of writing and expressing myself. And from here on, I will try to learn to discover myself and learn how to live through my previous mistakes. And well, if I get a few followers here and there, that’s a very nice bonus :-)
So hello world, this is me.

I’m Alys, and I’m very pleased to meet you. :-)