Right now, I wholeheartedly believe that God is calling me to live life by myself right now; where I can solely focus on him.
In relationships I become so distracted, so consumed and to an extent, so obsessed. I forget all that is lovely about God and all the is wonderful in the world. My whole life gravitates around this one person, and my world becomes so distorted and transfixed on them, I’m unable to see anybody or anything else but them. Only when I am single am I able to fully be myself, and be able to actively live my life.
More so, in this solitude, I feel as if God has anointed me with so many different opportunities and wonderous gifts which I had never been bestowed with before. He has worked some serious magic in my broken and crippled life, and I feel like I can only repay him by relinquishing my whole life to him, rather than giving him that segment set aside when my loved one isn’t around.
No instead of searching for love, I will stop and stand in the presence of Love itself. Why surround myself in a love that is so artificial and imperfect when I can celebrate in the purest form of love itself? I want to submit to Christ with all my heart so that there will be no room for anything but His presence.
I know this won’t be easy, when I’m surrounded in a world that says you aren’t complete with a man at your feet, or a ring on your finger, but I know that this will have such wonderous benefits. When the time comes for me to blessed with a new love, I will be so much stronger, so much more competent of love, and so much more secure in God. When I next fall in love, it will all be all in His hands, rather than my childish conquests to seek approval from another.
If it’s meant to be, he’ll come to me.