When did breathing ever become so tiresome? At what point did each suckle of air start to choke my lungs? Why can’t I think straight?
I tried. Tried my hardest. What if it wasn’t good enough? I know I’m good enough…or I thought I was.
Black printed letters strung across a white canvas lie in an envelope in some unknown place, framing my future, jovial in my uncertainty of it all.
I hate to admit it, I really do, but I’m afraid. Very afraid. Not because this alters my life, but because I’m scared to disappoint myself; scared to see that I didn’t achieve what I have been pushing towards. I want this. I need to have gained my pursuit.
I know you tell me to trust in you, for You know my path, and it’s your plan I wish to follow, but I’m still so scared. You tell me not to worry, but all I can do is pace. Please, let me have faith in You. Let me know that, whatever happens tomorrow, it’s all down to You, and it’s all going to be for the best. Tonight I cast my fears upon You.
Please just let it be okay.