I’ve realised the other half of the story.
I recently heard a cover of a song that I listened to which perfectly explained my feelings what had happened. Only this time, a male vocal was also used, and his half of the story was also told.
One line stood out, and made me realise that you also had your own part to our story.
“I didn’t plan on making you cry, but if I stayed I’d be living a lie.”
I’ve realised, though you have been malicious and unkind for some reason, there was real meaning behind the break up.
You didn’t want to keep living a lie, because you weren’t happy. I don’t know if you still loved me then, though I doubt it, and I doubt even more that you still love me now. But all I know is, you weren’t happy and you couldn’t carry on.
And I’m so sorry for that.
I’m sorry I made you fall out of love with me and that I caused you unhappiness. I never meant any harm. I just fell in love with you too deeply, too much and became too dependent. I became so infatuated with you that I lost my mind.
I’m sorry I lost what we used to have, how I used to make you feel how I lost your love.
I now understand why you did it, and I forgive you for that.
I just wish you let me try to fix it.
But I just can’t forgive what you’ve done and what you’re doing.
You could have left it like that, gone on and been civil. You didn’t need to pile on further hurt and you didn’t need to have to break promises and tell people things that are best left private. It’s not right, and I still can’t fathom why you did that.
Did it make you feel better about yourself?
Did it make you look good in front of your friends and get them back?
Has it made you happy?
All I know is, you weren’t happy then.
But that is still no reason to try to make me unhappy now.