Moving on can be one of the hardest things to cope with.
I can make it sound easy, and seem like I don’t care and I feel so strong, but deep down I’m still hurting.
I think I’ve moved on, but then as I just I’m about to forget about you, I’m dragged right back into the water.
I’ve been feeling so much better as each day passes, I’m now able to face you and the pain you feel necessary to send my way.
Until today, when I woke up from a dream. A terribly wonderful and damaging dream.
I dreamt that everything was okay, and that you were sorry for everything. I dreamt that you still loved me and wanted to work at it again, and that said that you had made the biggest mistake of your life. We were back together again, perfectly entwined and everything was so happy, so perfect. So right.
But then I woke up.
Once again, I rolled out of bed and realised nothing had changed. I was still alone and you still didn’t love me.
But then I remembered: you’re not that person anymore.
You’re arrogant, hateful, spiteful, rude and mean. Everything you once told me is a lie and you’ve changed so much, no one can even recognise you anymore.
I am moving on, because I know that I don’t love you anymore.
But, I am still deeply in love with your memory. I’m in love with who you were, what you used to be, and everything we went through together.
I miss that part of you so deeply, and I know I’ll never get him back. He’s gone.
I think I’ll always love that side of you, though time will slowly blur just how deeply.
I really do miss you. But I know that, for some reason, you had to leave.
I just wish you didn’t have to leave when you did.